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These ribs are gonna need a few more hours in this smoke house
It’s the most powerful global brand We have a digital timer attached with a magnet to the side of our refrigerator. It’s right next to the stove and co…
Matt Jankowski
Jan 17
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Extracting every last seed before you eat the fruit
Take off your shorts and wave them like a muffin tin One frequently used trope in action/mystery/spy films is to have the characters who are like exper…
Matt Jankowski
Jan 10
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The discussion turned to other ways you could have gotten here
The rules became more lax as the season wore on Whenever I see a person with a twitter bio along the lines of “all opinions are my own”, part of me is …
Matt Jankowski
Jan 3
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Sainthood comes to those who order ice cream first
The power brick was bigger than the device itself I’ve been thinking about the intersections and overlaps of the youngest accidentally named after and …
Matt Jankowski
Dec 27, 2020
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Widdly widdly wopple flop
The edge of the shadow moves faster than light One big decision facing a couple who are getting married is around what to do with their bank accounts a…
Matt Jankowski
Dec 20, 2020
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Crunching down on a big cruncher
This song is called ‘rules made up by that guy right there’ Everyone has a diet - it’s the stuff you’re eating. You’ve got a diet, sorry! But, some peo…
Matt Jankowski
Dec 13, 2020
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The status of the buffer is that the buffer is full
This reward comes from our platinum tier Instead of trying to find grand unifying explanations of behavior or social systems, I’ve been trying to err o…
Matt Jankowski
Dec 6, 2020
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A shuffle board so long that the curvature of the earth matters
I only ordered two pint glasses from Etsy but I received three business cards in my box from the artisan I bet that pulling office pranks on your co-wo…
Matt Jankowski
Nov 29, 2020
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The absence of category
If you leave a puppy in the dark he’ll smell his way back home I wonder if there’s ever been a time where neighboring convention centers are both hosti…
Matt Jankowski
Nov 22, 2020
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Herbert Neninger's Farm
Accidentally recording a hit song after you’ve already released a greatest hits album A fun prank to play on your spouse would be to come home from wor…
Matt Jankowski
Nov 15, 2020
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This battle station is not yet fully operational
What is already examined can always be re-examined With many people still watching cautiously as election ballots are tallied and final results are arr…
Matt Jankowski
Nov 8, 2020
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The dog found a new bone
The director’s cut was way too long to tolerate About a decade or so ago there was a TV advertisement that would run during big college football or bas…
Matt Jankowski
Nov 1, 2020
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