Discover more from The Matt Jankowski Club
They used a cute food word pun to name the restaurant
No one would ever wear a cape, for example
In one of my alter egos as a television screenwriter, I'd like to think that I have a unique gift of writing "strong female leads" in my shows, and that I gain some popular acclaim and praise from this ability. Rave reviews are written about how powerful the characters are and how they solve their own problems on their own terms or whatever you'd do there.
Then, there would be a backlash to all the praise, with some voices asking questions like "Well, can a man really write a strong female lead?" and "Isn't that just a man's version of what a strong female is?"
Then I'd like to think there would be a backlash to the backlash and the second backlash group would be like "no, that's the whole point, he really gets it and it is a unique ability and you couldn't do this better". The argument between the groups would get very bitter.
Does this count as a human right?
The 1987 song "I know you got soul" by Erik B. & Rakim starts with lyrics of "It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you / without a strong rhyme to step to". Younger readers might notice a similarity to the lyrics "It's been a long time, we shouldn't have left you / without a dope beat to step to, step to, step to, step to", as spoken by Timbaland on the 2001 Aaliyah track "Try Again".
In both scenarios, I'd like to picture the artists as genuinely distraught that they'd left the listener without said beats for such a long amount of time. I imagine them sitting alone in their houses late at night wondering where they went wrong and how they could have left everyone without those beats. Like, maybe they regret not getting into the studio a few years earlier.
They probably feel the incredible burden of a large crowd of people just milling about without anything to step to, whether that be strong rhymes or dope beats.
Swimming upstream to spawn
You know that thing where you're really sick and it's late at night and even though sleep would be the best thing for you it simply does not come? Sometimes when this happens it is possible to hear your own pulse, which is sort of creepy, I think.
I wonder if there's an adaptive advantage to pulse-hearers there, assuming not everyone can do it. Like, maybe hearing your pulse is supposed to confirm your suspicions that you are still alive, even in a fever-panic, and lull you back to sleep. On the flip side, maybe the beating of your own pulse just brings you even closer to confronting your own mortality, and it makes it harder to go back to sleep. Hard to know.
I'm not sure how I'd go to the line afterwards
It is against the rules of basketball for an offensive player to make contact with a stationary defensive player, and when they do so, a penalty is assessed. From the defensive perspective, a player might move to a spot they believe the offensive player will travel through, plant their feet, and thus "take the charge". When done correctly, it turns what had been sort of mutual reactive momentum and movement of both players into a penalty against the offensive player. It is best executed when there is an element of surprise to it, since if the offensive player knows what's going to happen, they'll simply avoid the spot and have an easy path towards the basket.
Through my ninja-like stealth abilities, I'm regularly able to position myself right next to people who are sort of tuned out to whatever is happening without them noticing that I'm right there. For example, a collection of tourists staring at a map, or a person standing in line at the grocery store staring at their phone -- these are the sorts of people who I can sneak right up on, and send "vibes" in their direction which convey the complete lack of respect and disapproval I have both of their tuned-out-ness, but also of their allowing a stranger to sneak right up on them.
I've often thought of combining the defensive basketball move with this other experience. I'd get myself so close to someone and when they turned in my direction (and noticed me), I'd flop backwards on to the floor as though they'd just bowled me over. To make this even better, I might bring a guy with a referee shirt and a whistle with me, and have them call a foul.
It's hard to know where the line is
It's sort of weird how we would consider some guy with a room full of blueprints documenting how they were going to put streaming internet video cameras into every changing room across an entire clothing store chain merely a "security researcher", yet we'd consider some kid who tried to hide a go-pro in a port-o-potty a criminal.