The secret's not the recipe, it's got to be the cooks

Now with double the cleaning power

Here's a useful exercise you might want to undertake if you're trying to understand how racists think about things. After you have an interaction with someone, replay the interaction in your head as though you were an incredibly aggressive racist and as though they were a member of whoever it is you've decided to hate in this fantasy.

The interaction can be really boring - like maybe you watched someone pour some milk into a glass. In that case, when you replay the scene in your head, maybe as they are pouring the milk out you say something like "that's right you <pejorative>, keep pouring that milk out, just like that!"

This is a fun exercise because you'll start running through scenarios which are sort of insane and you will find that you've said some totally absurd things which even actual racists probably wouldn't have said. You will become more confident in the absurdity of racism while amusing yourself at the same time. Gotta keep the mind limber and all that.

Paranoid

It's totally possible that everyone except else is in on some massive plan to trick you, right? Right?

Surprises made from starches

You know that thing where you walk around the corner at the same time as someone else who is walking around the same corner but from the other direction? Sometimes that person is a little startled, and they'll do a little stop-shuffle or pause or pop-up or something. You, of course, are never the surprised party, because you've got your act together and keep your head on a swivel.

Of course it's possible that the other person was just surprised that you were there ... but it's also possible that they were just completely floored by your stunning good looks and didn't know how else to react.

Just call it a fun trip

Whenever I see those requests from people who are traveling somewhere in the world for some humanitarian thing and they want you to donate money to help get them there and do whatever the thing is, there's a tiny voice in my head that wants to suggest that they skip the part where they go there, and just send a check instead, because they are probably not particularly well qualified to actually help solve the thing.