Discover more from The Matt Jankowski Club
The API was never upgraded to version two
If you see a priest on TV there’s probably a cowboy nearby
I think a cool thing to do as an employer attempting to hire people would be to do a totally normal interview process, but then at the end have someone from HR email the applicant and tell them they’d be getting a test from 23AndMe in the mail soon, and to please complete the kit and then send the account details back to HR for review. Then, for anyone who just did this without question, you’d politely decline to hire them. For people who responded with something like “Can I ask why?” you could thank them for their time and choose not to proceed further. For people who were like “No that’s dumb I’m not doing that” you’d extend an offer immediately.
Somewhere someone has the world’s biggest peanut collection
In the award-winning Mel Gibson film The Patriot, Gibson plays a revolutionary war era guy who has a bunch of kids but also whose wife has died. Throughout the film he does lots of battle stuff and includes his children in some of this. At one point Heath Ledger gets stuck in a sleeping bag. It’s really a solid film.
One weird plot detail which apparently was common at the time … is that at one point Captain Martin (Gibson’s role) needs to live some of his kids somewhere because he has to go do more battles, so he finds his sister-in-law and drops off his kids with her. This is all well and good, but then later on he just sort of announces that by virtue of his wife being dead and her younger sister still being alive, that she’s his new wife now. Like because he married her sister he implicitly got a “backup” wife as part of the deal.
This was common practice at the time because so many of the men of the day were dying in battles that there was this massive glut of marriageable women just lying around waiting for suitors; so naturally if someone became a widower and there was a close genetic match for his former wife available … he’d just take that one as a close approximation of what he’d lost. This works out well for the kids too because they already know aunt Charlotte and now she’s just like a new mom.
Anyway, if I wasn’t already married to someone who doesn’t have any sisters, and I was instead getting married to someone who did have a sister, I think I’d have my legal team draft up a really lengthy pre-nup with tons of normal boring financial details in there, but then also have them slip in something like “At his sole option, Groom may choose to take on any younger sister of Bride as a backup in the event of Bride’s untimely demise” and just see if anyone picked up on it.
You can in theory un-mix a can of paints
In our modern era of inter connected computers and devices, the average American receives (on average) 2.1 PIN codes per week asking them to verify their authenticity with whatever thing they are trying to sign into. A fun hobby I’d like to see someone take up would be to create a spreadsheet that keeps a detailed record of all the PIN codes and 2FA codes and support ticket references numbers that they receive throughout their lives. You could keep this in a long running google sheet or something and add to it every time you had an interaction that created a number worth jotting down.
Then, years later, when you’re sitting in a retirement home or at a diner or something with your buddies from back in the day, and in a moment of vulnerable emotionality one of your other friends reveals to the group some really silly hobby they’ve had for decades now and everyone starts laughing at them — you’d have a great tool available to make them feel better. You could just be like “if you think that’s dumb, check this out!” and then you’d whip out your smart device and show them your tracking sheet.