Take the elevator to the top floor and then get off and come find me

Dragon raising is equal parts art and science and luck

At professional sporting events, there will often be "air bikes" on the sidelines for the players to ride on while they are out of action, in order to stay loose. These bikes are exercise bikes, but they're being used just to get some range of motion movement in the legs, not to do a full work out mid-game. I'm not sure on the research here as to whether one can become sufficiently tightened up in so short a period of time that using an air bike actually offers a measurable improvement over not using one, but I have no objections to doing this. There might be a psychological benefit to believing that you are more prepared to re-enter the sporting contest all stretched out, even if you are not demonstrably more stretched out, and even if the energy burning you're doing to achieve the more stretched out status might be working against you at the same time that the stretching is working for you.

I think it would be cool to station air bikes all around a corporate office, so that when people have a brief lull in their daily action, they can go take a few moments on the bike to stay limber. Like, say you're in a two hour meeting with a dozen people. It's probably the case that not every person needs to focus on every topic. Maybe each topic is actually only relevant to 6-8 people in the room. That means that the other people who are sitting there only need to listen attentively enough to know when the topic changes, but that they don't really need to participate in that bit of discussion. It would be nice for them to be able to just stand up and go crank out a few minutes on the air bike to keep their body limber so that when the topic does return to something they can contribute to, they are physically and mentally ready to do so.

The other pretty obvious thing here which, frankly, in 2017 I'm getting tired of having to say out loud, is that every piece of exercise equipment should be hooked up to some power capturing grid, so that when Todd from accounting takes a few moments out of the all hands meeting (aside here: if there were a company which employed exclusively deaf people who used sign language to communicate with each other ... would that mean that literally every meeting at the company could be considered an all hands meeting? Maybe) to ride on the airbike, that the energy he's using to move the bike pedals is being captured and stored as electrical battery energy, so that he might power someone's laptop later that day.

Your silence is here to serve my leisure

The logo for the Morton salt company features a little girl with a yellow dress carrying an umbrella and spilling salt from an open bag. This is an iconic image, and if arbitrary internet claims can be believed it is "one of the ten best-known symbols" in the United States. How about that. Apparently the history of this logo is that they had just added some fancy chemistry to their salts so that even when slightly moist, the salt would still pour of it's container and not get all clumpy. I'm assuming that slightly moist salt clumping was a massive problem 100 years ago when this improvement was made and the logo was introduced.

That improvement is all good and well, and I don't have any particular problem with demonstrating that your anti-moisture-clumping technology works via a little girl dumping some behind her, but I am sort of curious about the larger context around the image. In the logo, the girl is walking from the viewers right to the viewers left, and the rain is falling in the same direction. She also appears to be mid-stride and is not just standing still. I take this to mean that she is not just standing in one spot dumping salt out of her bag, but that she's on some sort of journey, and is leaving a path of un-clumped salt behind her as she walks. She is holding the cylinder of Morton salt with the opening pointed down - so she is either oblivious to her spilling, having accidentally held it this way, or she is purposefully spilling the salt behind her as she walks.

If this is a Hansel and Gretel situation where the girl is going to need to follow this trail of salt back home in order to stay safe, I think she's in trouble. The anti-clumping properties of the salt will be great for pouring a nice straight trail of salts behind her ... but it's pouring out, so the falling rain is going to immediately soak the salt on the ground, and probably wash a bunch of it away. I don't care how great your moisture defeating chemistry is, there comes a point at which the sheer scale and force of the natural world is going to have its way with you.

If the girl is simply naive, and is accidentally carrying the cylinder this way, I wonder what awaits her back at home? Like, if I sent my daughter out in the pouring rain to go to the grocery store and get just one cylinder of salt - and then she brought it home like half empty because she had been pouring it out on her walk home to prove some point about moisture, I'm not sure I'd be happy ... but I do hope I'd be self aware enough to know how absurd the situation was. Why did I even send her out in the first place? It's pouring out - we likely did not need the salt so urgently as to necessitate an immediate grocery store trip. And while I might be a little disappointed or frustrated with the amount of salt that was poured on the ground and wasted, I would hesitate to blame her too much, because I'm the one who sent a child to perform the salt task, and I sort of got what I deserved.

Yes, but what about all these monkeys we just captured?

In today's highly regulated business environment, it's become more and more common for large companies to employ a "Chief Risk Officer" who is accountable for overseeing the risks a company is taking in areas like finance, reputation, legality, compliance, etc. The exact role varies from company to company, so the focus might be more about liability in one business, environmental behavior in another, financial regulation in a third. The broad them is that there are certain risks that any business is exposed to, and this person's job is not to necessarily eliminate those risks, but to ensure that the balance of risk and reward in the business is appropriate and satisfies the board.

A pretty cool twist on this job would be to have your Chief Risk Officer occupy a large stately office with mahogany everywhere, and get a huge table in the middle of the room which featured a custom built-in version of the classic board game RISK™, and instruct the CRO to make most of their decisions via the mechanics of the game. The scenarios this would enable would be pretty thrilling. Like, maybe you'd have some rogue trader looking to make a bet on avocados, and the head trader would be like "I'm not sure about this, go talk to our new CRO, Bob, he's in office 123". Then the trader would go in, talk to Bob for a while, and come report back to his head trader with a result like "Yeah, I talked to Bob, he said that we're going to have to hold Australia for another two rounds, and that he's pretty sure we can afford to go one and one with blue in Europe and still hold the Ukraine, so my trade sounds fine".

Another fun side effect would be that if this position existed at a company which hosted periodic "game nights" for their employees and families and friends, that the person who had this job would face a lot of pressure to show up to game night, play RISK, win RISK, and possibly act as a final arbiter of any disputes about the rules which arose during a game of RISK. Failure to regularly perform well and win games of RISK would be seen as a professional failure, and probably something which would come up in their annual reviews.

There's probably someone at Hasbro, the current owner of the RISK brand and publisher of the board game (who have completely sullied it's incredible reputation in recent years with lots of partnerships and co-branded editions of the game) who has the title of Chief Risk Officer or is otherwise responsible for corporate liability and legal issues, and for the love of all things holy, if this person does not face constant puns and jokes along the lines of what I am describing here, their entire department and management team should be completely disbanded by the board and then reassembled until we get a group of people in there who can do things right.