Discover more from The Matt Jankowski Club
If you get away they might come after you
A guy who likes to put his own custom caps on his figurines
I’d like to see a movement emerge which is anti-gay-pride but pro gay people. It would be a very nuanced argument and a tough needle to thread. Their whole thing would be that they’re cool with whatever sexual orientation you have, but they don’t like how you’re showing “pride” about it. They’d all be like super bored of talking about sex orientations and pushing for a relegation of it to the background.
To be clear, these are not prudish or oppressed people, they just want the gay pride people to knock it off with the pride part and go back to just being gay people (which, again, they are fine with).
I’m not sure how this group would promote their cause, though … it seems like if your whole thing is that someone else needs to take it down a notch you are also going to be really high on humility and reluctant to have your own rallies or parades or whatever. The best you could do would be if you saw a lady on the bus extra gay proud to just sort of give her a look indicating that she’s at a 9 but you need her at a 6, and see if you could move the needle that way.
This is really nuanced isn’t it? Yes.
A statement which only shows some of the services which were performed
As a dog owner, one of your jobs is to take your dog on walks and occasionally go to a park with your dog and throw your dog a ball and call them a good boy and stuff like that. One popular innovation in dog park trips is this sort of arm/lever type device that has a little ball holder in one side and is like a catapult sort of device which allows the dog owner person to get some leverage and throw the ball for their dog a lot further than they could with their own arm.
I think the intention here is noble because you want to give your dog a hefty toss of the ball to go fetch and you are using technology to supplement your own limited ability to throw a ball to your dog — but as a side effect of using this device, you wind up spending less time with your dog in total.
For example, if in a given 20 minute dog park ball throwing session using your own arm and not one of these devices you could achieve four throws per minute, then you’d be spending lets say ~16 seconds “with” your dog (ie, your dog is right next to you having either just brought you a ball or awaiting another ball throw) and ~44 seconds away from your dog (they are chasing a ball); but with this levered device you can throw it much further and you get down to two throws per minute and you are now only spending ~8 seconds per minute with your dog and they are chasing the ball the other ~52 seconds.
This must also just drive your dog nuts. They keep trying to bring you the ball — they clearly just want you to have the ball! — but then you keep throwing it and throwing it. And now with this device your throwing it further than before and they are having to spend more time bringing it back to you and less time next to you. It’s got to be deflating for a dog, especially because they can’t talk. If the dog could talk it could just be like “look buddy I keep bringing you the ball and you keep screwing it up and throwing it again, please just keep the ball”. But they can’t talk so they can’t say that.
Getting a direct quote instead of a second hand quote
I think a cool Power Move to make would to become an expert musician at the playing of some really obscure instrument, and not tell anyone about it, and just lie in wait for the correct opportunity to present itself. A good example here would be a ukulele — it’s obscure enough that no one is going to suspect that you can play it; but it’s common enough that there will probably be a few occasions somewhere in your future where a ukulele emerges.
So what you do is you train up on the ukulele and become a master of playing it. Ideally you don’t just learn basic ukulele chords, you also learn some sort of advanced, fast-paced, gimmicky ukulele strums. The sort of thing that would turn some heads. Then you just wait, and wait, and wait.
Some day in your future you will find yourself at some random kids birthday party and they’ll have hired a juggler or other performer to do a little show in their backyard as part of the birthday party, and you guessed it — that performer will have brought along a tiny ukulele as part of their act. This is your moment to shine. You wait for the performance to be over but then before they pack up your approach their area all casually and make sure they notice you noticing the ukulele. You can’t come in all eager to play it, you’ve got to act just sort of curious and intrigued by it, and then either they offer for you to play it or you be like “hey can I try that thing?” Maybe you invent some story about how you took guitar lessons when you were like 12 but hadn’t picked up a thing in a while.
Then you just bust into a JAM SESSION in front of the whole party and play like a 20 minute “set” of all the sweet sweet ukulele chords you’ve been training on for so long and everyone in the party is like “what the”. That’s the whole thing.